Split Personality

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What's a bleeding heart, compassionate conservative to do in the odd moments when she isn't cleaning her guns?

By way of introduction: If you see the picture, I'm sure you can discern that I get very little "intellectual" (Ha!) respect without proving myself. I've noticed that a guy only needs to grow a beard and his maturity-index jumps exponentially.

My attempts to grow a beard have failed, so I must settle for being spectacularly well-informed.
And I want to help you--yes you, the girls who aren't imposing Alaskans like Melinda or the guys who aren't political powerhouses like Mr. Sitman.

You see, the number one way to win respect is to know everything about everything and thanks to the wide world of blogs, you can do that in about 20 minutes a day.

On the issue of Iraq: yes, there are the questions of logistics, intelligence, the Washington power structure etc. But, arguing these dry and endlessly boring details with a liberal will win you no brownies, no nuts, and definitely no frosting.

Let me introduce you to Omar, Mohammed, and Ali: 3 intrepid Baghdad dentists and brothers who blog on daily life in the newly liberated Iraq -- http://iraqthemodel.blogspot.com/

The next time you find yourself trapped on the bus next to a liberal who confides in that smug, self-assured tone that, "Isn't it a shame how terrible things have turned out in Iraq?" you can answer by quoting one of these gentleman directly, showing off your compassion and unwavering devotion to the people, the individual lives, behind the bloody news coverage. And you sound as if you know everthing without having to drone on about the OMB, DCI, NSA, AWOL, or PCP.

Then you can go back to cleaning your .22 or eating the livers of small children or whatever it is that your particular brand of Evil Conservatism compels you to do (I find myself stealing half-pints of milk from childrens' school lunches).

What can I say, I'm a nice gal who happens to think dictators deserve a balistic missile up the @** on occassion....

Incurable case of split personality.